By Dana McKee

While the process of divorce can be a daunting, it is important to remember that there are options to make the process smoother – like divorce mediation. In this blog, I explore what divorce mediation is, its benefits, and why I refer some of my clients to a mediator, whether before or during the litigation process. Mediation can often help both parties reach an agreement more quickly, with less stress, but it is not a one-size-fits-all solution. As such, it is important to assess if it’s right for you.

What is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a process whereby both parties, with the help of a neutral third-party mediator, work together to reach a mutually agreed-upon resolution to the issues involved in their divorce. The mediator helps facilitate communication and negotiations. They guide both parties through discussions about child custody, division of assets, alimony, child support, and other important aspects of the divorce. You and your spouse can work together to create a solution that fits your specific circumstances.

Why Should You Consider Mediation?

1. Cost: Mediation is an affordable option that often helps both parties save money. If there are issues that can be resolved in mediation, you will spend less time in court and potentially have reduced legal fees.
2. Faster Resolution: Divorce litigation can often take many months, even years, to conclude. Mediation, on the other hand, can often be completed in a matter of weeks or days, depending on the complexity of the issues.
3. Reduced Stress: The litigation process and court appearances can be emotionally taxing. Mediation offers an environment where both parties are encouraged to collaborate, which can be less intimidating and reduce anxiety.
4. Confidentiality: Court proceedings are public record, but mediation is confidential. What you discuss during the mediation process stays between you, your spouse, and the mediator. This can be a huge benefit, particularly when sensitive matters are involved or when one or both parties are concerned about how their private issues may impact their professional career.
5. Greater Control: One of the most significant advantages of mediation is the control it gives both parties. In mediation, you have a direct hand in shaping the outcome of your divorce.
6. Better for Children: If you have children, mediation can be especially beneficial. It allows you and your spouse to work together to create a parenting plan that is in the best interest of your children. Mediation fosters cooperation and can reduce the chances of conflict spilling over into co-parenting post-divorce.

When Should You Consider Mediation?

Mediation is not the right choice for everyone but it may be appropriate in the following situations:

Before Litigation: If you and your spouse have decided that the marriage is over, but have not yet filed for divorce, mediation can be a good first step, particularly if resources are limited and both spouses want to resolve issues, but have not been able to do so on their own. Mediation can also be a first step for parties who want to keep their marital dispute private, but clearly need the assistance of a neutral third party to assist them in reaching an agreement. However, even if the parties agree that mediation is an appropriate first step, you may still want to retain an attorney to represent you through the mediation process.  An attorney can assist with the selection of the appropriate mediator based on the complexities of the matter and personalities involved.  The attorney can be available to answer questions or guide the client through the process and provide legal advice, which the neutral mediator cannot do.  If necessary, the attorney can participate in the mediation process.  At the very least, an attorney should be retained to review any mediation agreement before it is finalized to ensure that you understand its terms and make sure that all issues have been properly addressed.

During Litigation: Even if litigation has already begun, mediation can still be a useful tool. It’s never too late to try to settle disputes outside of court. In fact, many cases are settled during the litigation process through mediation.

Is Mediation Right for You?

Divorce mediation is often a great choice for many couples, whether they are in the early stages of divorce or already deep into the litigation process. However, mediation may not work for everyone. It requires a willingness to communicate and negotiate. If there is a history of abuse, extreme hostility, or if one party is not willing to participate, mediation is not recommended.

I encourage you to consider how mediation could help you resolve disputes during litigation or how it can be a beneficial first step in divorce. In the end, divorce is about moving forward, and mediation can be a helpful tool in achieving that goal.

Any divorce is an extremely complicated and stressful event in a person’s life. Dana McKee, chair of BGL’s family law practice, has experience in handling these difficult and complex cases. She is a seasoned litigator, who recognizes that the courtroom is not always the best place for a divorce dispute. She is formally trained in Collaborative Law and regularly takes continuing legal education courses in mental health issues that pertain to divorce, custody, and litigation strategies. Her broad experience allows her to be sensitive to the family dynamics without compromising her ability to obtain results for her clients – both in and out of the courtroom. She is dedicated to providing the highest-caliber legal services that bring each client’s voice center stage.

If you have a divorce or custody case that needs a family law attorney with proven experience dealing with difficult and complex cases, contact us today for a consultation.